Children = never being spontaneous again. Ever

I once went to Cuba for a friends wedding. It was awesome. Apart from the clothes for the day of the wedding, I brought 2 pairs of shorts, a t-shirt, some sun block, flip-flops and a toothbrush. I never did wear the t-shirt. To this day I cannot tell you what resort we stayed at. I was told to buy a ticket and show up at the airport on a certain date.

That was me, one hip cat. I went by my own rules and damned the consequences.

Tomorrow, I’m going to Bermuda for a winter get away. A last minute get away sort of thing that my wife organized. My list is pretty much the same as before. But now I have a child and she has needs that can’t be glossed over with copious amounts of free liquor [I highly recommend all-inclusive by the way]. We have to make sure that she has everything she needs because we can’t guarantee that we’ll be able to get the stuff there. So far, the list includes…

swim diapers,

Tylenol,

sandals,

2 sweaters,

rain jacket,

running shoes,

sun block ,

socks,

t-shirts,

shorts,

bib,

kiddy utensils,

kiddy plate,

sippies,

bottles,

liners,

tent [seriously, a tent],

car seat,

stroller,

hat,

sunglasses,

pj’s,

wipes (two packs),

diapers,

Vaseline,

diaper cream,

blanket,

crib sheet,

sleep teddy,

regular teddy [cause god forbid we leave one of the bears behind],

books,

toothbrush,

toothpaste,

shampoo,

comb,

hair elastics,

snacks,

swim suit

And that’s just to start. The pile of luggage is starting to look like we getting ready to mount a run for the summit of Mt. Everest. Our Sherpa Kha-Joo-Whe assures me we’ll have good weather as long as we leave by February. I drive a Nissan Versa, people! How in the hell am I going to get this stuff to the airport? I called a local moving company, but I can’t repeat what they said to me here.

The fact that we have to pack all this stuff is not what makes us un-spontaneous. It’s the fact that we knew we needed to make a list just to make sure there wasn’t anything we forgot. We need that list, too. Did you even read that list? Did you notice that we had “Hair Elastics”? Of course not! That’s why we have the list in the first place.

I’m going to make another list called “All the stuff I’ll never be again” Spontaneous will be number three behind Carefree and one Hip Cat.