Often, I’m asked “What’s it like being a dad?” I’m sure that
person is looking for something like “Oh, it’s magical” or “I learn so much
from those little darlings.” So I do understand their shock and dismay when I
answer with “Oh my god, It’s humiliating.”
But it is. And I finally have proof. I had my Itouch on me
one time when I heard “Daddy, wanna play dress up” and captured the whole
thing.
This is me. Overall a pretty good looking guy, maybe in need
of a shave, but still. Look at that guy, that’s a guy who don’t take no guff
from no one, no how.
Then BOOM RIGHT IN THE EYE! I’ve said this so often that it's
getting to be a catch phrase for me. But there you have it, proof that my
daughter is trying to blind me.
And again….
And once more…Jesus, how many time does it take to put on a
pair of friggin' sunglasses.
Wait…Three times and this is the best you could do. C’mon
man!
“You pretty dad?” Yes, yes, I’m pretty
And now the lipstick…not real lipstick of course, plastic
lipstick…It’s cleaner and more painful
That’s my nose
There you go, get that right in there. Nothing says fashion
like bleeding gums
And the crown
“You so pretty daddy!” I ask you, is it wrong to want to tell your first born child to piss off. Cause I really want to at this point. Look at that mirror! Look how close it is to my face. She doesn't care what I think.
“Got to brush you hair.” Notice how she grabs a comb instead of
a brush. One of those cheap plastic combs with tiny little teeth. What you can’t
see is that instead of combing through my hair, my daughter decided to go with
a rapid back and forth movement as you would with a saw
“Look daddy, you so pretty.”
Oh, the magic of it all. I have learned so much from my little darling today. By the way, if your find a bunch of man tickets laying on their ground somewhere, they're probably mine.
