5 Things

I’ve been reading over some of my past blog posts and I’ve noticed  that there is a great deal of posts dedicated to the  negative side of parenting. I believe the reason for this is that, for the most part, parenting sucks. Its early mornings wake ups, late night feedings, cleaning loads of crap and no appreciation. Here’s a neat fact, did you know that the minimum amount of sleep you need to complete a rejuvenating sleep cycle is 4 hours? Here’s another neat fact, a newborn child wakes on average every three hours. How Mankind has survived as a species is a complete mystery to me.

When I first mentioned this revelation to my wife, she responded with “Parenting might suck, but being a parent doesn’t.” I retorted that little gem with “Oh for the love of Jesus…” She has a point though. There are parts of parenting that are pretty cool. I thought it would be a good idea to share some of those with you.

#1: You can dress them however you like.

The fact they do not have well defined motor skills also means they can’t fight you on what you put them in. They can barely understand the notion of toes, let alone buttons. Now my wife and I had very different views on what’s cool. For example, I like cool stuff and she likes shows about teenage moms with 27 children who want to buy the perfect wedding dress so they can flip houses on a budget or something like that. Still, she is pretty cool with letting me dress the kids my way from time to time. Here are some of my favorites.

Ace of Spades, Daddy?

I was almost named Luke.

Bumble Zee!

 Eventually, they start having their own opinions about what they want to wear and start pulling crap like this.

 Look at her. She looks like a crack addict.

#2) You can make them do things.

Once your child starts talking, they will literally repeat everything you say. At first it’s awkward because you curse a lot and now so do they. [See more Here]. Once you know its coming you can really have some fun…like this

Intense, right? The best part about this is I taught her this just before she and Mom went to the mall. I giggled every time I thought of my wife trying to keep Abby from screaming “STAR WARS IS THE BEST!” all throughout Wal-Mart. Still makes me giggle.

#3) They have low expectations of a good time.

Look at this….

We had a blast that day. And it was a box. Amazing.

#4 You have really interesting conversations.

Not being the most sophisticated of creatures; a child's conversation can be really amusing when put in the right light. Here are some actual conversations we’ve had with Abby: 

Abby: Daddy, the moon is soooo big..

Me: How big is it?

Abby: It’s huge, like your bum

Les: mommy is going out now. Remember what you said you promised?
Abby: Yes.
Les: You said you’d be good for daddy. When it's time for bed who at you going to listen to?
Abby: Auntie Stephanie

Les: Not Daddy?

Abby: No.

Abby: [patting my stomach] You have a baby in your belly, daddy?
Me: Are you calling me fat?
Abby: [patting my stomach] You have a bigger and bigger baby in your belly?

Les: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Abby: A witch!
Les: You want to be a witch? Do you want to be a good witch or a mean witch?
Abby: A mean witch!

Me: (to Abby) I love you.
Abby: Thanks...

#5: When they want to be they can be great for your self esteem.

There is nothing like having your daughter look at pictures from your wedding and saying “Mommy is a princess and Daddy is magic” Plus there’s this:

I am the Man! At least for now, I doubt she will have the same opinion of me when she’s 15.